My rent went up a hundred dollars effective next month. What the hell am I going to do? I can’t afford that!




That feeling when you download a whole series then realize it’s subbed in French.

Went out with Joanna, looked at adorable baby chicks at Tractor Supply, and ate a piece of pizza bigger than my head. o_o Good times.



The place I get “therapy” and services (like peer support) from is thinking of dumping me because I’m not “making progress” on my diet and diabetes. Firstly, I don’t remember setting those goals with my therapist. I am supposed to pick my own goals, not them. If I did, I sure don’t remember. Diabetes should be between me and my family doctor. I don’t feel like getting harassed about it during so-called therapy. In any case, I am changing my fucking goals next time I talk to her. I have developed a dislike for my therapist because of this. Also, she won’t come to work and makes me get on Zoom for sessions, and I fuckin’ HATE ZOOM. It is not a good way for me to work. I can’t stay engaged and always get really sleepy. I need in-person therapy, like a regular fucking person. =_=; I did a lot better in that type of setting.

Lemme tell you…if I were to lose my peer support, I WILL wind up suicidal and back in the hospital. Peer support saved my fucking life. I give them all (except the shitty one) full credit for saving me. If they cut me loose, it will fuck up my life. They’re looking for reasons to cut people off lately, it’s happened to other people. One got cut off because they were grouchy and didn’t like their new peer support, who happened to be the one I couldn’t stand. Stupid.

Listening to: Britney Spears – Criminal



psycho encounter

I’m a night owl. I am usually up at 2-3 AM. Well, last night, I was just sitting here watching tv around 3 am, and suddenly I hear banging at the front door. Very aggressive. I froze. More banging, and then the yelling started. “HEY! HEY!”. I called my parents and dad immediately started getting dressed to come over here. I cautiously made my way to the door and looked through the peephole. White guy with a red shirt. As soon as I looked through the peephole, he yelled again, scaring the everloving shit out of me. I tiptoed back into the livingroom and told mom I was calling the cops. Then, the guy started throwing rocks at all my windows. The lady on 911 heard them hitting and she was trying to comfort me.

They actually beat dad to my place. They caught him quite easily and I kept peeking out the door to see if I could see anything, but I could not.

Turns out the guy was deaf and the cops couldn’t communicate effectively with him, so they took him in and I imagine found someone who could sign to find out what his fucking malfunction is. Today I learned he had the WRONG FUCKING ADDRESS. I mean, at least I wasn’t the target? And he probably won’t come back. So that’s good. The property manager was fucking PISSED. He got to the bottom of it fast. I guess the guy will probably be banned from the property.

I have never been so fucking scared in my time of living alone, I was shaking and sweating and could barely talk. I honestly thought I was going to be raped or murdered. So thanks, psycho guy, for putting the fear of God in me! 😀




plot bunnies

Man, I couldn’t sleep last night. The plot bunnies were running circles in my head and I had to write down notes, lest I forget! I got a lot more framework for my story, which will (hopefully) become an online comic. I mean, I’ve only been working on this story & it’s characters for TWENTY ONE YEARS. Since I was 14 years old! I never got too far on the story and I’m still tweaking my characters after all this time! I am woefully bad at writing, you’d think I never picked up a thesaurus. I wish someone would help me out with the story but all my friends are pretty busy, one with her own comic. I just wish I had someone to run the dialogue by, and help me refine it.

Otherwise…I discovered I can indeed wear size 2XL shirts comfortably. At least the ones from Hot Topic. I usually get 3XL because I’m paranoid and don’t like tight shirts. SO I’ve basically been on a tshirt binge from Hot Topic. I finally found a Junji Ito shirt. I got Tokyo Ghoul, Inuyasha, Shingeki no Kyojin, Linkin Park and Korn shirts. Woo! *burns money*


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Saturday is my birthday :O Another year closer to death.




dreams

I had a dream last night that there was a computer virus that makes a person shit their pants.

Did I catch it? Yes. Did I shit my pants? Absolutely.


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I apparently have “TMJ” syndrome. My jaw is all kinds of messed up. I will probably wind up getting shots (cortizone, I guess?) in my jaw joints which just really freaks me out. I’ve had to have have them in other places (spine mostly) and they hurrrt, even when they numb you before. The only reason I have to resort to that is because the other option, a mouth guard, is impossible. Put something foreign that isn’t food in my mouth and I will gag and even get sick. I’d never sleep. It’s just not plausible.

I’m dying to get windsprite.nu up and running! I’d move it to my other hosting but I really like being hosted by Buruma (check out her site, it’s cool)! I’ll just wait I guess XD




new domain

So I got a new domain (yeah yeah, I know, not again XD) for my main collective, windsprite.nu. I made the layout already and I’m so pleased with it. I think it’s probably the best layout I’ve ever made. My only problem is for the network page that lists my various sites, I need to use tables. I have never been able to understand tables. It’s tough with a learning disorder. I’m trying to use a table generator and I still am having trouble! I don’t know how to style them, either. =_=

Hopefully this will be the LAST domain change for the main collective. I really like this domain. It’s kind of how I finally settled down with rhythm-emotion.net (fanlisting collective) after a bunch of domain changes, and I don’t plan on changing again because I really like it.

I have to wait for my host to add the domain so I can use it. I’m antsy :B I have it uploaded on my test site here.


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There is a non-medical weed dispensary in the middle of Gatlinburg, TN. I am so confused, TN isn’t a cannabis legalized state….I don’t think. O_o Anyhow, dad partook of the bud. Don’t know what kind he got. Then again, neither does he.

Anyhoo, I had a really fun time yesterday with JoAnna (my peer support). We went to Olive Garden. We went to a Hmong market and found Boba Tea in a can, which was delicious. It was honeydew flavor. I had never had Boba tea before, but there’s a boba tea place in Hickory called Bubbly and we are going there next time. Went to a Goodwill and found this odd little gadget, from I’m guessing the late 90s or early 2000s. I think that because the disc inside it pictured a “Baby One More Time” era Britney Spears. It was some kind of media player. This discs were oddly sized, so they wouldn’t fit in a normal CD player. Bright green, see-through so the circuitry was visible. Had a little grey screen on the top, opened like a CD player. I think it said it was some kind of video viewer. I kind of wish I’d bought it because it would have been less than a dollar and I am so fucking curious as to what exactly it is! Maybe it’ll still be there next week. I can’t find anything like it on the internet.

I go to the dentist tomorrow so my tooth will either be crowned, ground down, or gone. I do not look forward to it.