Category: thoughts

I have a sudden urge to read the Ghost Eye and Bunnicula books. I think there’s only one Ghost Eye book, which was a shame. It was beautifully illustrated.




These Haribo Twin-Snake gummies are tasty but they smell like feet



Peer support girl is getting on my nerves again. Yesterday I woke up feeling like garbage, and asked her not to come that day and she argued with me for like 3 minutes. Dude. Just say “okay, I won’t come today.” It’s not that friggin hard. I had to cancel my therapy appointment too. I’ll probably go next Monday and I’ll probably ask my therapist to go ahead and have them switch my peer support person. I had told her to hold off on it before, but I’m kinda done now.

I made ramen a little bit ago and the fucking bowl is cracked and it leaked everywhere. =_=;

Currently trying to make plans for an animation I want to make. It’s basically an animated picture, not a complete animation. Just a drawing with animated effects. I’m trying to figure out where to start on that.

Oh, and Oscar put his foot in my mouth. *spits repeatedly*




I caved and got Discovery Plus. It has a ton of old shows I used to watch, which is really cool. Only thing that sucks is they don’t have Live PD. 🙁

Anyhow, I’m concerned that Oscar’s pneumonia has come back because he’s snorting and sneezing a lot. I’m definitely taking him to the vet.

And I’ve all but given up on my donut. I’m just going to start from scratch.



I am so angry at my donut


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dreams

I’ll put this under a cut because it gets kind of personal.


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It’s happened. I’ve finally met someone who’s more sensitive than me, and it is annoying. I sure hope I don’t come off like that.

Basically she’s my “peer support” from the place I get therapy at, and she had taken me to the library to rent some books. I have a hard time motivating myself to do stuff, especially reading. She asks, over and over again, “Have you read them”, “when do you think you might read them” and I got irritated, because I hate when people ask me the same questions over and over, and also I DON’T KNOW WHEN I MIGHT READ THEM. I said “When I feel like it.” and she got all weepy and told me to “be mindful of my tone”. I kind of wanted to smack her. I hate the word “mindful” too. It just fucking annoys me. Like…this girl is way younger than me and I hate having someone eight years younger than me treating me like a child. =_= When she first became my peer support, they had switched me from the previous girl to her because she was new and needed a caseload of clients. I had a really good relationship with the girl before her. I was so pissed when they switched me. Our personalities just do not match. She keeps trying to get me to volunteer at places, not taking my issues into consideration. I flat out told her I wasn’t going to volunteer any time soon. She ignored me and kept asking about “volunteering opportunities”. Also I had gone to the health food place to get Jojoba oil and saw a chapstick I might like, so I picked it up and she said “Not today”. What the fuck? I ignored her. Another time she took me to a gas station to grab a drink and I decided to quickly look at the sunglasses rack and she again said “Not today”. I’m sorry, I wasn’t under the impression I had to fcking ask your permission to look at something. I hATE when people in the mental health business treat me like I’m mentally diminished. It’s happened more times than I can count.

I miss the previous girl so much! 🙁




Dumb question but…

Is it normal for cats to shed their HWHISKERS in the winter? They’re all over the place.

Listening to: Delerium feat. Jacqui Hunt – Euphoria (Firefly) (Rabbit In The Moon’s Divine Gothic Disco Remix)



Saw Dad again on Friday when I went out to dinner with my parents. He was unpleasant as usual. Acted like a jerk. I don’t understand what is wrong with him. I go to their house for dinner today. Wonder how that’ll go…

Listening to: Wardruna – Lyfjaberg


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bleah.

Last night, I had dinner at my parents. Dad took me home, and on the way, called some of the music I like (80s pop) “boyband crap” and said one of my favorite artists “sounds like a little bitch”. I don’t know what his problem is but he gets really hateful sometimes and I don’t like to be around him when he’s like that, he’s so freakin’ negative. I was annoyed so I just shut my mouth and laid my head back until we got to my house.

Today I was having a nice day with mom, and then she brings it up. She said I offended him or hurt his precious feels or some shit. Has he no self awareness?! He was being a jagoff, and mom acts like only his fee-fees mattered. /rolls eyes/ She’ll do anything to avoid upsetting him. He never gets the blame for anything he does.

This is the guy that made fun of me when I thought I was having a stroke. I had already had one suspected mini-stroke, so it wasn’t a wild assumption. She defended him then as well. I’ve never felt so alone.

I know it’s dumb, but it really pissed me off.

Listening to: My Dying Bride – The Cry of Mankind