I have been doing lots of thinking about my life. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of it since I’m in my thirties and haven’t really done anything. It’s greatly depressing. I’m going for weight loss surgery next year, I really hope I’ll be able to achieve that because it will absolutely change my life and open many doors for me. I’m a very unhealthy person. I’m constantly tired, diabetic, suffer from chronic back and neck and nerve pain, and have had at least two mini strokes. I hate myself in many ways.
I’ve decided I want to become an esthetician. Once I have achieved my goals, I’m going to apply at the college in hickory because they have an esthetician program. The pass rate is 50% because the final exam to become board certified is pretty difficult. But in going to work towards it. I’m tired of being disabled (I’ll always be disabled but I can un-disable myself in some different ways physically) and on the government dole. I hope I can make myself strong enough to work an actual job. As of right now, I’d probably collapse after an hour. Or even less.
So that’s my goal. That’s what I’m working towards starting today. I’m tired of being the way I am. Fuck autism, it can’t hold me back anymore.