Category: life

I don’t feel so great. I had a Covid test a couple days ago, but it was negative, so I know that’s not it.

I tried to do more unpacking but the boxes are so darn heavy, I could only handle getting one into the living room. I almost passed out after. I am so damn WEAK, and have a messed up arm, but no one will help me get the boxes out 🙁 *sigh* I can’t handle too much stuff like that. I have been getting really dizzy lately and that sure doesn’t help.

I went to my regular doctor for the ear/jaw issue, and I no longer have an ear infection….which is just weird because it still hurts. She referred me to an Ear Nose & Throat doctor for the jaw pain. She said I might have to get a mouth guard, which is expensive…I can’t keep going like this, though. I’m having a great deal of trouble eating. Now I’m having trouble closing my mouth completely. My teeth feel…uneven.

Well, I get to go out and have fun tomorrow 🙂 I’ll look forward to that.



Went out with good peer support girl today, had a great time! Thank God! 😀 I was so happy to see her again.

I got a new domain for my main collective, aloneinkyoto.net, which I actually owned about 10 or more years ago. I know people are probably tired of me changing my domains though >_>; At least I usually redirect them instead of just letting the link go dead, I guess XD I didn’t do that for celestial.nu and kind of regret it.




OMG! I am rid of peer support girl! They are assigning me back to my previous person! I am so relieved.

Otherwise, I have to go to my normal doctor on Monday. This swollen lymph node and ear infection aren’t getting any better, even after being bombarded with drops, and two different antibiotics. If anything, it’s gotten worse. I’m really starting to worry about this. Mom thinks I have something called “TMJ” which happens when someone grinds their teeth too much, which I do, and it can lock your jaw shut. I’m hoping they’ll go ahead and x-ray my damn head or whatever because I’m getting sick of this.

She’s making me get a Covid test before I come in, which makes me really nervous. I’m not sick, but what if it comes back positive? I’d have to self-isolate for two weeks and that would wreak havoc on my mental health and I might actually wind up in the hospital again. So yeah. It’s not that easy or simple for some people.




Went to an Urgent Care again Saturday. It was a different one than last time. I saw a different doc and he says I have a swollen lymph node on my jaw. It hurts like a bitch! He put a steroid shot in my arm and put me on prednisone for 10 days, hoping that’ll knock it out. I could feel some minor improvement after the steroid shot. He didn’t address my f’d up arm though, I might have to go back. Urgent Care is way easier than getting an appointment with my actual doctor. She won’t see me in person and it’s super annoying.



Omg! Mom booked a house at the beach for July 7-14th! It is BEAUTIFUL. It sits right on the beach and there’s a sea bird estuary right in front of it, and a LIGHTHOUSE about 200 yards away. I will be taking so many photos. This is a big deal because I haven’t been on a vacation in 4 years and I need this SO BADLY. This is in Tybee Island, Georgia, a place I’ve never gotten to visit before. I guess we’ll take a trip to Savannah too! I’m excited!




I got my PS4 yesterday! I was trying to set it up and my phone rang, it was peer support girl. I didn’t answer because I was busy and why is she calling so late? I sometimes ignore her calls because she calls at stupid times when I’ve previously asked her not to call me, and I might be a little bit of an asshole too. Hmm. Anyways, a few minutes later she shows up at my door and proceeds to bug me for about a half hour. I was paranoid of the hand-washing thing and cringed when she touched my stuff. Now I feel like I need to wipe everything down with a clorox wipe. >_>; I swear I had terrible anxiety about her pee-hands being on my stuff as I was trying to sleep last night. I’m a huge germophobe and that’s a nightmare scenario. I think she’s one of those “BuT i DoN’t WaNt To WaSh ThE gOoD bAcTeRiA oFf” people. I’m sorry for rambling on about this and her, but like I said, I had terrible anxiety and need to vent it out. I know I might sound like a super bitch but…that’s what a fucking blog is for, isn’t it? 😐

Anyhoo. PS4 is awesome. Played some Soulcalibur (Kilik ♥) and called it a night. I got some games for my 3DS which I can’t freaking find and a couple of cartridges for my mini Genesis, which I also haven’t yet found.

I unpacked all my books (yes, I’m just getting around to doing this lol) and started some on the movies.

Wash your goddam hands.




I am starting to suspect peer support girl doesn’t wash her hands when she uses the bathroom. I usually let her use my guest bathroom (this girl pees A LOT), so this grosses me out majorly. So today I took my “Wash your hands ya filthy animal” sign from the master bathroom and put it in there. I hope this will get my point across.

She doesn’t think I can do anything on my own. She has asked twice now if my mom gives me my money. No, I have my own income, thanks. She asked if I have a payee. No, I do not. After I bought a pair of sunglasses, she asked how my mom feels when I “buy extra things”. My mother’s feelings about my buying a pair of cheap sunglasses is not relevant, because it is my money. I have no agency according to her. Once again treating me as someone who is mentally diminished. I am not.




I went to an Urgent Care tonight for this stupid ear ache! It started as a jaw pain a month or two ago and gradually went to my ear. It hurts but they called in some eardrops for me which I can pick up tomorrow. She said it should start working for the pain within the same day. I missed the superbowl completely tonight. At least I got wings and chips & dip!



Just ordered a PS4 from Gamestop. It’s about time I upgraded from my 2. 😀



Peer support girl is getting on my nerves again. Yesterday I woke up feeling like garbage, and asked her not to come that day and she argued with me for like 3 minutes. Dude. Just say “okay, I won’t come today.” It’s not that friggin hard. I had to cancel my therapy appointment too. I’ll probably go next Monday and I’ll probably ask my therapist to go ahead and have them switch my peer support person. I had told her to hold off on it before, but I’m kinda done now.

I made ramen a little bit ago and the fucking bowl is cracked and it leaked everywhere. =_=;

Currently trying to make plans for an animation I want to make. It’s basically an animated picture, not a complete animation. Just a drawing with animated effects. I’m trying to figure out where to start on that.

Oh, and Oscar put his foot in my mouth. *spits repeatedly*