Month: January 2020


I have to do a lot of cleaning today, the stupid inspection is Thursday. I’m nauseated and my back is messed up. I don’t know how to deal.

Kill me now



Went a while without posting. Guess I had nothing to say O_o

Today I had the worst headache and nerve pain. I think it made me hallucinate D: Like….Mom draped her jacket on my vacuum cleaner and I swear I saw the arm lift up and throw something red across the room. Yikes. It very obviously scared my cat, though. I dunno. D: Anyhoo, I feel somewhat better now.

I’ve been super nervous because they’re doing apartment inspections on the 30th. I don’t know how picky they are. I’m a stuff person. I like my stuff. I have tons of books and and figures and little doodads and whatnot. The landlord said not to look like a hoarder. I’m not a fucking hoarder though, I just like the things I have and want to display them. *rolls eyes* I mean this place is like 650 square feet. They didn’t exactly give us a lot of space to put shit. =_=;



I can’t believe how many cookbooks I’ve acquired over this short period of time. Yay for thrift stores! I swear I found like 3 for Chinese food alone. Even found a Cajun one. And one for nothing but CHEEEESE. *fatassthumbsup*


Last night I was in my bathroom and happened to look in the mirror. I thought “How grotesque you look.” and it made me really depressed. Everyone denies that I’m ugly, they say I’m “cute”, but that doesn’t convince me. I gained so much weight from depression eating….I can’t seem to stop. I can’t get it off. I can’t stick to a diet. Ugh. Why am I talking about this. I’ll stop.

I’m also regretting this permanent makeup. It makes me look more mature and I don’t like that. It doesn’t fit my personality. I just wanted it to open up my eyes and make them look bigger because I think they’re too small. I want to get it taken off somehow. What is wrong with me today =_=’ Complaining…I guess I’m just being extra critical of myself.

I’ll stop rambling now.