God almighty I fucking loathe snow. I used to love it but now it’s just making my life miserable. I guess it’s really the ice that’s the problem but I think you know what I’m saying.


Got my eyebrows done. Dummy didn’t do it how I asked so now she has to fix it and I have to go through the annoying healing process again. Yes, I wound up having to go to the lying beyotch because everyone else is too expensive. 😖

My cousin is in the hospital with Covid pneumonia and is on a ventilator since last night. Her doctors are saying she won’t “oxygenate”. Her oxygen was down to 70 and her blood sugar was over 800 when she went in. I’m afraid she isn’t going to make it. This comes very soon after my beloved aunt died from Covid double pneumonia… my mom was/is very very close with both of them, it seems like she’s going to lose all her friends, the people she can talk to when she’s stressed or going through something. I’m worried about her too.

It seems like everyone in my cousins immediate family got it bad.

Let’s hope she recovers even though it looks grim right now.

And no she wasn’t vaccinated. I don’t think she trusts vaccines in general because she won’t get flu vaccines either.

My mom is vaccinated and boosted. She also had raging legionnaires pneumonia several years ago which did damage to her lungs. That’s what worries me. People who have had pneumonia or chronic bronchitis (like my aunt) seem to do worse with Covid. I’m just really afraid she’ll get it and wind up in the hospital. That scares me more than anything. Even though she’s vaccinated, that absolutely does not stop you from contracting it or spreading it. The vaccine is supposed to prevent severe cases in which you wind up on a ventilator. I hope it does it’s job. I fucking hate this virus. So much.

Sigh. Anyhow.

I have made the decision to move to Charlotte in the next couple years. I found a place that takes section 8 and sits in the first ward historic district of the city 🏙 I have always dreamed of living in a big city, since I was a kid. I dreamed of looking out my window at night and seeing the city lights all around me. When I was a kid my biggest dream was to go to NYC. When I turned 16, I finally got to go as a birthday present. I was wide-eyed and amazed. The culture shock was very real though.

I asked my peer support lady Ginger if they would let her take me down to Charlotte and view the apartment complex and hopefully a unit when the time comes. She said she probably could, so yay!


Happy new year!! 🎆 let’s hope this one’s better than the last two! 😊

Also, R.I.P. Betty White.

This made me horse laugh 😹

Merry Christmas again. I went to my parents and had a big dinner. Hope you all had a good one too 😊

Merry Christmas 🎁🎄!!

I got dad this shirt:

And mom this sleep mask:

Dad is obsessed with SpaceX and the starship, so I know he’s gonna love it. Unfortunately it won’t be here for Christmas, but last years present came late too so…he’s used to it XD Mom wanted a sleep mask and I tried to find a cute one that wasn’t over-the-top.

My wig from Yesstyle came and I’m gonna return it, because it’s the wrong color and not even really wavy like the photo showed. It was this one:

🙁 I’m gonna try another one (different brand) and hopefully it’s more like it’s pictured.

I bought a new toaster (4 slots! I had bought bagels and cream cheese and then remembered I didn’t have a toaster anymore lol) and a sandwich maker at Roses. And then I went batshit and bought ALL THE JUICE. I got myself some Sunny D. Do you know how long it’s been since I had Sunny D? OVER TWENTY YEARS. It’s the holiday season and I’m gonna drink some motherfuckin’ juice. I know that’s unhealthy and irresponsible because diabeetus, but yeah. I’ll just be sugary for a while. I know I’m a dumbass, you don’t have to tell me D:


I hate people. I really do. There is an extra warm place in hell for people who do shit like this. Hope they get a pineapple shoved up their ass everyday by satan himself. Because if there is a hell, the human skidmarks that did this to a puppy will wind up there, preferably sooner than later. Hope they choke on their own blood 😘

Was that mean? Yes. Pardon me if I have no sympathy for people (I use that word very lightly here) who behead puppies. 💅

RIP 🪦 Anne Rice 😢

I have been doing lots of thinking about my life. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of it since I’m in my thirties and haven’t really done anything. It’s greatly depressing. I’m going for weight loss surgery next year, I really hope I’ll be able to achieve that because it will absolutely change my life and open many doors for me. I’m a very unhealthy person. I’m constantly tired, diabetic, suffer from chronic back and neck and nerve pain, and have had at least two mini strokes. I hate myself in many ways.

I’ve decided I want to become an esthetician. Once I have achieved my goals, I’m going to apply at the college in hickory because they have an esthetician program. The pass rate is 50% because the final exam to become board certified is pretty difficult. But in going to work towards it. I’m tired of being disabled (I’ll always be disabled but I can un-disable myself in some different ways physically) and on the government dole. I hope I can make myself strong enough to work an actual job. As of right now, I’d probably collapse after an hour. Or even less.

So that’s my goal. That’s what I’m working towards starting today. I’m tired of being the way I am. Fuck autism, it can’t hold me back anymore.

Until very recently, I didn’t realize other people had visible, large pores like mine. Looking at makeup tutorials on YouTube helped me realize that is not the case. Plenty of people have large, active pores. I thought I was some kind of freak my whole life, I guess due to seeing so many airbrushed magazine photos of models and stuff.