I caved and got Discovery Plus. It has a ton of old shows I used to watch, which is really cool. Only thing that sucks is they don’t have Live PD. 🙁

Anyhow, I’m concerned that Oscar’s pneumonia has come back because he’s snorting and sneezing a lot. I’m definitely taking him to the vet.

And I’ve all but given up on my donut. I’m just going to start from scratch.

Microsoft’s “support” is about as useful as a tit on a broomstick.

I’m up early, so I decided to fire up Blender and see if I could progress on my donut….I’m going to cry

I just cannot get anywhere with this thing

Finally got it to change colors in sculpt mode, so I guess that’s…something.

Just bought this piece of art:

From NeonTalk!

The icing could cut a bitch

I am so angry at my donut

a bit better

I went out with peer support girl today, she was made aware of my request for a switch, and apologized for the things she did and said, and told me to tell her if she fucks up in the future. I said okay, and asked my therapist to hold off on switching her. I actually had a good time. We’ll see how things go from here on…

I haven’t worked on my godforsaken donut for three nights. I’m afraid to open Blender >.>; My donut is a nonut. I guess I’ll try to pick up on it again tomorrow night, since it’s almost 5 AM here now.

I don’t know if I’ll ever figure Blender out, I keep forgetting the hotkeys and still don’t understand what a subsurface modifier is! ;_;

Otherwise…I’ve spent my night looking for advice for people with autism and severe sensory problems and dating. I signed up for the forums at Wrongplanet and went over the love and relationships forum but didn’t find anything relevant to my problem. I don’t think there’s any forums about sensory problems and dating. I don’t know why I’m bothering to try and figure my problem out, no one’s ever gonna want me or put up with my issues. Especially the person I like. He likes thin, pretty girls, both of which I’m not. I can fix the thin part, but I don’t know if I’ll be as cute as I used to be when I was thin. >_> I don’t know how OLD I’ll look. That’s something that makes me very paranoid. Everyone tells me how young I look but will it be the same if I lost all the weight in my face? Will I look….droopy? Ugghhhh. I guess it’s better than being fat, though.

Ah well….until next time.


I’ll put this under a cut because it gets kind of personal.

my donut is taking shape…slowly

Here it is so far.

Isn’t it beautiful? XD


Wow, Blender has a hell of a learning curve! I’m going to start work on the famous donut tutorial maybe tomorrow, if I feel up to it. There’s just so much….lingo. I was reading info about it and the majority of my thoughts were “huh” and “wtf is that”. >_>;;

I hope I can understand. My goal is to make things I find aesthetically pleasing (outrun, vaporwave, cyberpunk), and that hopefully others would like as well.